Pig Gone Wild - The Madonna Tour

Well, well, the pig of pop, the purveyor of porn has returned to kick off her tour. We speak of none other than that classiest of classy females - Madonna. She opened her legs...sorry...world tour with a concert in LA - Los Angles for the geographically challenged - which is probably most of her audience.

In keeping with the fine, fine, super fine classy lady that she is, she dazzled the audience with her S&M costume & whip while her bare-breasted male dancers trotted around in their ball gags.
Doesn't get better. But yes it does in this case. She donned a crown of thorns and suspended herself from a giant mirrored cross, crucifixion-style to deliver the ballad "Live to Tell." Video screens showed images of third-world poverty and reeled off grim statistics.

The politically astute icon that she is had a video montage juxtapose images of Bush, members of his administration and British Prime Minister Tony Blair with footage of Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, and Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe. Midway through the new song "I Love New York," she deviated from the script and made a crude reference to Bush and oral sex.

She is expected to make $200 million from the tour.

What can we say. We are just awed at her classy showmanship, her clever use of foul language, her positive spin on S&M, her mockery of the Crucifixion, her insightful political commentary. We are certain that she will give a large, large sum of that $200 mil to the poor in the third world countries whose images she splashed across the stage. Then again, maybe not - self-inflated "stars" like her tend to mouth off, but keep the dough, baby.

It's pathetic that at age 47 she has to continue playing the slutty pig. But hey, wherever floats her boat...& keeps her in dough. What's more pathetic is the audience. Real bunch of classy folks. Losers all, but classy.