A Cooked Goose
John Kerry, who claims he is "a hunter & a gunner", is now in serious trouble with animal activists. Kerry, who is going around the countryside trying to prove that he is the new poster boy of the NRA, claims to have bagged a goose on his recent outing. He claims all four in the party each bagged a goose, though Kerry was the only one not seen carrying a goose.
No matter - he claims he murdered a goose. And Kerry doesn't lie, does he?
Now outraged animal activists have swung into action & are suing Kerry for reckless disregard for the lives of our peace-loving, feathered co-habitors of earth. Seeking the best trial lawyer available, they have enlisted John Edwards, Kerry's running mate, in their cause. Edwards, you will recall, is the famous trial lawyer who made trillions of dollars in his pursuit of...well...trillions of dollars.
Edwards made a brief comment on the issue, saying "This is the wrong goose in the wrong place at the wrong time. How do you ask a goose to be the last goose to die for a stunt? How do you ask a goose to be the last goose to die for votes? Sen. Kerry talks about building a coalition before killing a goose, but there were only three others with him - the bribed & coerced. Where is his global goose test now? This is one more atrocity to be added to Kerry's long list of atrocities". Sen. Edwards, late for a Breck Girl commercial, had no further comment. The gooses' family could not be reached for comment as they were busy registering as new Democrat voters.
Sen. Kerry's campaign spokesperson in response said, "Sen. Kerry believes that this whole issue is a nuisance. But to show his sincerity, he is prepared to sue the gun manufacturer for allowing him to use it & will have Sen. Edwards represent him. Sen. Kerry further states that he is sure that the lesbian goose did not choose to be born that way. And did you know that Sen. Kerry is a Vietnam Veteran?"
Additional statements from Sen. Kerry will be announced after a hastily prepared dinner made by his housekeeping wife, Teresa.
....from sea to shining sea