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"Fighting the world wide web of wicked wrong doers."

Welcome. The aim of this site is simple - to rail against the slow, but steady chipping away of traditonal American values by a host of groups & individuals bent on destroying them.

“We know the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong. Do you not think an angel rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm?" - John Page 1776

And crown thy good with brotherhood.... ....from sea to shining sea line07-b.gif Your commentator - Francis Lynn...MySpace Profile...E-mail

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Carl's Jr Restaurants: It's Not Their Burgers Anymore - It's Her Buns

Paris Hilton, that paragon of sleaze, stars in the latest Carl's Jr Restaurants commercial on tv. This demur icon of clean-cut womanhood is seen in the commercial in a skin-tight, scanty outfit soaping up a car & climbing all over it in suggestively sexual ways before taking a provocative bite out of a Carl's Jr Spicey BBQ Six Dollar Burger. Carl's Jr Restaurants are only located west of the Mississippi River, primarily California & the Southwest.

We already knew that Hilton eagerly dropped to her knees for any loose dollar that came her way, no surprise there. What surprised us & disappointed us was the eagerness of a family-oriented restaurant like Carl's Jr to readily stoop to tacky & tawdry gimmicks for the same dollar. However, they don't stop there. They now have "The Girls of Carl's Jr" in Maxim magazine, kind of a hungry guys Playboy. Carl's Jr website (slow load) runs the Hilton commercial & has a link they proudly announce as "SpiceyParis.com", where you can see the further adventures of Paris the Pig, the Sultress of Slutness.

The website also boasts their most stunning accomplishment for the 1990's: "Carl's Jr makes a name for itself with memorable commercials that appeal to young, hungry guys." Elsewhere, they play up the Six Dollar Burger for "young guys on the move", if ya get the drift, wink, wink. Add some Hilton buns & some Hilton spice & voila, semi-porn burgers your way.

The tv watchdog group, the million member Parents Television Council, complained to Carl's Jr & its parent company, CKE Restaurants, which also owns Hardees, that the commercial was "soft-core porn." Carl's Jr CEO, Andy Pudzer, answered that the group "needs to get a life." So much for corporate sensitivity toward 1 million people. In fact, Pudzer was kind of proud of the fact that its website crashed due to so many visitors (Doesn't the name Pudzer sound like a porn movie director?). CKE is planning a commercial for its Hardees Restaurants starring none other then, ta-da, Miss Soap-My-Buns.

As we said, for a family-oriented restaurant, Carl's Jr's commercial is tacky, tasteless, salacious, tawdry & totally inappropriate. But money over morals, stockholders. You can contact CKE here.

In response, we at American Values recommends that Carl's Jr be boycotted until they remember that what started as a Mom & Pop eatery is fit again for Mom & Pop & the kids.

We do not need a 2-bit ho' to sell their Six Dollar Burger.

Now we know the real reason why Carl's Jr Happy Star is always smiling.


Anonymous RK said...

Luv the commercial. It's about time we got rid of the American prudish view about the human body and of sex. This commercial wouldn't raise an eyebrow in the civilized countries of Europe.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

A. Europe is not civilized.
B. You are as tacky as Carl's Jr
C. Go buy a German speaking porn movie.

5:17 PM  

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