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American Values Under Attack Image by FlamingText.com
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"Fighting the world wide web of wicked wrong doers."

Welcome. The aim of this site is simple - to rail against the slow, but steady chipping away of traditonal American values by a host of groups & individuals bent on destroying them.

“We know the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong. Do you not think an angel rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm?" - John Page 1776

And crown thy good with brotherhood.... ....from sea to shining sea line07-b.gif Your commentator - Francis Lynn...MySpace Profile...E-mail

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Toasters are Apolitical

Rich Kmiec got a brand new shiny toaster. It cost him $40. The man loves his toast, so only the best toaster for him. The thing does everything. Well, not everything. He has his wife for the things the toaster doesn't do. But other than that, his new shiny toaster is just as good as a wife.

After all; it feeds him, it keeps him warm if he snuggles next to it, & in time it will get old & ornery. A perfect second wife for him.

Toasters are apolitical & non-judgmental, unlike some wives. Toasters welcome with open arms white bread, black bread, marbled bread, conservative bread, liberal bread, religious bread, atheist bread, even gay bread.

Toasters don't care if you are rich or poor, a thief or a priest. Toasters are there for you whenever you knead them. They give you the sensual pleasures of toasted bread aroma wafting through the home, creating a more mellow atmosphere in those who sniff its fragrance. Toasting tells you that all is right with the world. Is there an elixir or illicit drug that can make such a claim? I don't think so.

Perhaps toasters should be placed in the offices of all Heads of State. Toasters quietly toasting in the background while a Summit or UN meeting is going on. Large fans spreading the addictive aroma of toast throughout the meetings. Maybe then we would have peace at last. And even if that failed we would still have a piece of toast to fall back on.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go to http://www.delonghi.com/Int/USA/menu.html to see my toaster. It is Model RT400. Delonghi makes some of the most beautiful toasters in the world.

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My toaster has recently been getting hungry. Why? The price of butter has spiraled upward and what is toast without butter. Thank you for the administration's farm policy Mr. George Bush. Luckily butter went on sale this week. I bought 5 pounds. Toast must be buttered generously.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

Try margarine next time - it's cheaper & you don't need anymore fat from your butter.

11:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As they say in real estate - Location Location Location. I prefer quality - not the low priced spread. "Spread" What is it? A poor imitation of the delightful flavor of butter.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did Marlon Brando use margerine in "Last Tango Paris". I think not. Only butter is suited for the important jobs.
Was it Ronald Reagan that the film studios chose for the part instead of Brando? No. They went with the best.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

"Spread" is indeed what you'll get if you keep on using 5 lbs of butter on your toast. Marlon Brando - a great poster child for the results of years of butter. If he was back on his "The Wild One" motorcycle, you wouldn't see the motorcycle - all you'd see was 2 wheels sticking out of his fat ass. When he screamed out the name 'Stella' in "On The Waterfront" it was really because he just got on a scale. Reagan - margarine- trim, fit.

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be hostile. Its only about butter Frances. Creamy delicious butter.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

a. It's Francis, not Frances! b. It's radical liberal butternuts like you who are causing a serious depletion in the cow population as they strain their little hearts out so you can satiate your craven desire for butter. Somewhere a cow died for your perversion. Give the cows a break, my friend!

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And what is it that you want to with the cow instead?

5:17 PM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

Personally, I prefer goats - umm - goat milk, I mean.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I would have thought sheep were more to your liking. But enough of this butter argument. In the spirit of magnanimity I wish you alll the best greasing you goat with oleo.

6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I would have thought sheep were more to your liking. But enough of this butter argument. In the spirit of magnanimity I wish you alll the best greasing you goat with oleo.

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I admit it. I am a dunker. Sometimes I love the taste and texture of dunked toast. Hot or cold chocolate milk is a favorite. Unsweetened coffee with milk is another. Monopolies in the coffee industry have kept the kept the prices Juan Valdez gets for his coffee beans artificially low. No wonder he now grows cocaine. Somehow Starbuck and Dunkin Donuts have not passed this savings on to the consumer. American capitalism at work - screw the worker and the consumer. Only the middlemen corporations profit.


8:30 AM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

For your information, Juan Valdez made so much money with his cocaine fields that after his mule died(Juan never married by the way) that he crossed the US border illegally & started a Taco Latte business. He now has 43 stores in the greater Los Angeles area. He hires only illegal immigrants who are paid miserly & with no benefits to keep costs down & profits high. When questioned about his treatment of his illegal employees he said, "If these foreigners don't like it here, let them go back to their own country". Juan Valdez is living the American Dream, so back off my friend.

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a great thing about the Internet - it allows one to research their facts.

"The real-life Juan Valdez and his buddies now earn just 60 cents for the same pound of coffee beans that would’ve earned them $1.20 just a few years ago. The United States, the world’s largest consumer of coffee, has done little except push “free trade”—which is great for American caffeine addicts (and, more accurately, American roasting companies and coffee shop chains like Starbucks) but horrible for the poor, Colombian farmers. As Marie Antoinette might have said, “Let them grow coke.”

That’s exactly what some people are worried about. In September, a bipartisan group of Congressional legislators urged the Bush administration to change course, pointing out that low coffee prices were a “direct threat” to our homeland security because many cafeteros were starting to grow cocaine (which is just as powerful a drug as caffeine, but you try to run a business with a coke-sniffing station instead of a coffee machine in the office kitchen).

The Bush administration has ignored the request. In fact, the White House doesn’t know what it’s doing when it comes to coffee. On the one hand, USAID—the federal government’s foreign aid agency—has programs that help Latin American coffee farmers until the coffee glut eases. Meanwhile, another federal program is encouraging Bolivian farmers to take up coffee production, thereby adding to the very glut."


12:05 PM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

This is a complicated issue. In 1993 the Clinton Administration pulled the US out of the International Coffee Organization. Under the Bush administration the US recently re-joined the ICO. Hopefully this will lead to better conditions for the growers.

The middlemen who purchase coffee beans from growers naturally take advantage of the glut in coffee beans. This is an age old story in economics.

Overproduction by growers has created a 2 billion pound surplus. Simple economics - when surplus goes up, price goes down. High tariffs on coffee will help their governments, but not the growers. Direct subsidies to growers may help to a point, but who pays?

The part that strikes me about your post is where you state that cocaine is just as powerful a drug as cafeine. Equating the two is off base - cocaine is far more powerful & incidious. I'm of the impression that you would have no qualms if the growers switched to the over production of coca plants, thereby making a snort that much cheaper.

12:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did not state, I quoted from MSNBC, and I believe when one quotes one should do so verbatim. Unfortunately this snippet equating coffee and cocaine use was thrown in. For the record, I agree that cocaine is a far worse drug and the government policies of the Bush regime, which encourage its production, are not in the best interest.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Butter and coffee. What next? Did I say that love to have my toast with chocolate milk. Chocolate which I hold so dear to my heart. Unfortunately, I have found that the consumption of this wondrous substance is not without moral, social and economic implications. The farming of the cacao bean is strongly linked to slavery. Slavery in the 22nd Century? Unfortunately Yes. And who promotes it? Our biggest manufactures - Hersey's, Nestle, Cadbury, etc. etc..




9:11 AM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

Sorry - I saw no quotes in the paragraph about the cocaine, so naturally assumed it was your statement. It is the columnist that is over the top then.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

Chocolate lover - you should do your part to help the oppressed bean growers - boycott chocolate! Give it up. It's easy to be a couch radical, slurping down your chocolate while railing against the corporations. But ya haven't got the guts. You're too comfy, too addicted to your chocolate. By the way, unless I overslept by a long stretch, this is the 21st century & not the 22nd. Or do you have incredible forsight?

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Foresight, you idiot, not forsight. I love it when people post to correct a small mistake that has little to do with the argument and then make a similar mistake of their own.

Now should I boycott? Perhaps not, but suggested responses are listed in the site below:


And what are chocolate makers doing?



Does anyone know if this legislation passed?

Slavery and human rights remain a large issue in this century.



11:58 AM  
Blogger Francis Lynn said...

As Jesus said, let he who has not typo-ed cast the first word. As for the name calling, I hope you become a chocolate addict - then you will contribute greatly to the misery of the downtrodden who are abused by the chocolate corporations. And as a final ignominy, I hope you die a chocolate death. Ah, the irony.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes I like my toast with jams and jellies. Strawberry, raspberry, apple butter, blackberry and rhubarb are my favorites. Years ago, my mother used to make rhubarb jelly. It was fantastic.




One can hardly believe that there are so many different types. And they sound so good. Maybe I'll try making some of my own this summer. What are your favorites?

4:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What are jams and jellies made of? Fruits and vegetables of course. Where do they come from? Farms. And who does the work? Farm workers. One hard job!

Do you remember way back in the early 70's when Cesar Chavez was organizing farm workers? Remember when the grape pickers went on strike? Well, it's still horrible wages and conditions for them.




You will find a biography of Cesar of Chavez here. This is a great site about all sorts of things American.

4:16 PM  

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